10 special ways to remember your dad this Father’s Day
Father’s Day can be a particularly difficult time if you are a child or young person who has experienced the death of a parent. When the shops are filled with cards for dad, daddy and pops, it can be a painful reminder of the grief you have suffered over the years.
Bereavement is a complex process, one day you might feel fine but the next day you might feel those familiar pangs of grief start to reappear. So many things can prompt you to remember your dad, you might see something that used to make them laugh or smell the aftershave they used to wear. For our young people, it might be learning to ride a bike or “take your dad to school” day.
Coping with grief
It’s not only those who have experienced the death of their father who might struggle. It can be tricky for those whose mothers are no longer with us to navigate their grief at this time. Instead of burying those feelings, or avoiding thinking about your parent on these tougher days, Scotty’s encourages you to celebrate them. Just because they are no longer with us, doesn’t mean their memory can’t live on.
The Scotty’s team have put together this list of ways to remember your dad (or parent) this Father’s Day, and all year round. Use these ideas to pay tribute in your own special way and to remember your loved one in a way that is meaningful to you.
Listen to his favourite music
Music is a great way to bring back memories and help us feel more connected to a person. Why not spend some time listening and remembering? Maybe you can even remember your dad dancing and singing along to his favourites (no matter how bad his taste in music was!)
Have a special dinner to celebrate your father’s memory
Have a think about your dad’s favourite foods. Did he have a favourite recipe you could cook? Or perhaps you could order his favourite takeaway as a treat and enjoy it as a family.
Celebrate how truly special your dad was
Why not have a barbecue or a special picnic in the garden? Play games, put some music on and eat good food while celebrating your dad. Don’t feel guilty for having fun and smiling. Remember, your dad would want you to be happy.
Write a Father’s Day card, letter or poem
Share your thoughts and feelings, sometimes it can really help to write things down. You may want to keep it in a memory box or give it to someone you trust to keep it safe for you.
Plant something to remember your dad
If you can’t get to your dad’s grave or special resting place on Father’s Day, this is one of the ways to remember your dad from home. It also means that you will always have a special place where you can feel close to him in the garden.
Blow bubbles to send your father your love
While balloons and lanterns can be dangerous for the environment and wildlife, Scotty’s suggest blowing bubbles and sending wishes that way.
Create a scrapbook about your hero
You could include photos, special memories, bits of his clothing, stories, certificates – anything that reminds you of your dad. Then whenever you’re feeling sad, you can look at it and feel close to him.
Set a challenge in his memory
Why not set yourself a challenge and complete it in your father’s memory? It’s a great opportunity to raise money for charity and ask people to sponsor you in memory of your father.
Bake a cake, then blow out the candles and send a wish to your dad
This is a great way to send a special message to your father even if you can’t be together on Father’s Day. Why not make his favourite flavour cake? Remember your dad and make a wish when you blow out the candles.
Talk
Take the time to chat with your family and friends about your father. Share stories and memories – you might even learn something new about him. If you don’t have any memories of your dad – perhaps you were too young when he died – this can be a great way to build a picture of who he was.
However you choose to share memories of your loved one this Father’s Day, or any other day of the year, don’t be afraid to celebrate their life. It can be difficult to open up and share at first, but celebrating your parent with those closest to you can help you feel less alone.
At Scotty’s Little Soldiers, we provide support for bereaved Forces children and young people and a big part of our work is helping our young people to build a support system so they always know they have people to reach out to when they are struggling. Click the link below to download our free guide to ways to remember your parent.