“It’s important that we keep marking Remembrance because we never want to forget those soldiers, like my dad, who put their lives on the line for us.”
13-year-old, Ben O’Donnell, was just nine weeks old when his dad, Warrant Officer Class 2 Gary O'Donnell was killed while on tour in Afghanistan. As we approach Remembrance Day, Ben discusses what Remembrance means to him, why it’s such an important day and how support from Scotty’s Little Soldiers has helped him remember his dad.
As Big Ben strikes 11am on Sunday 14th November, men, women and children across the country will fall silent to honour those brave soldiers who died serving their country. At Whitehall, London, thousands of people will line the streets as part of the national Remembrance Day parade to pay their respects to their loved ones, including 45 bereaved military children and young people, all members of bereaved Armed Forces charity, Scotty’s Little Soldiers, who will be there to honour the huge sacrifices made by their parents, their heroes.
Ben at the Remembrance Day Parade 2019
Amongst them, marching proudly will be 13-year-old Ben O’Donnell, who was just nine weeks old when his dad, W02 Gary O’Donnell, was killed while on tour in Afghanistan on the 10th September 2008.
Unlike his older brother Aidan, who was eight years old at the time of his dad’s death, Ben never knew his dad. At just over two months old he was too young to remember what he was like and relies on those around him to help build a picture of the hero he was. Despite not knowing his dad, Ben understands just how important it is to remember, especially on Remembrance Day, all that his dad, and other soldiers just like him, achieved and sacrificed in order to protect us.
W02 Gary O'Donnell, Aidan and baby Ben
W02 O’Donnell was one of the most decorated soldiers in the British Army, he died trying to disarm an IED in Helmand Province while serving with the 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment, Royal Logistic Corps.
13 years on from his death and Ben, with the help of his brother Aidan and mum Toni, has learnt a lot about the kind of person his dad was, and what he achieved during his time in the Army. It’s these stories and shared memories Ben will have firmly at the front of his mind this Remembrance Day as he joins 45 bereaved military children and young people just like him on the Remembrance march.
W02 Gary O'Donnell
“Remembrance means a lot to me,” said Ben. “It makes me feel really proud of my dad. Not a lot of people know what I’ve been through and it’s nice to see everyone come together and pay respect to my dad and other soldiers just like him by doing the two-minute silence.
“Remembrance Day helps me remember by dad, and it’s nice because it also means other people are also remembering their fallen family. I do find it hard to think about my dad as I didn’t really get the chance to know him. It’s hard living without a dad, but it helps when my family talk about him as it gives me a better perspective of the kind of person he was and what he was interested in. On Remembrance Day especially I can really think about the person he was and remember him in the best way that I can.”
For Ben, Remembrance Day is an integral time of year for him and his family and a tradition that should be kept and marked generation after generation.
Ben said: “There’s a plaque for my dad in our town near the local church where I like to go to lay wreaths and poppies in memory of my dad. We go there on Remembrance Day as a family to talk and remember dad.
“It makes me happy to see people wearing poppies because it means that they know what my dad and other soldiers did to help us have better lives. The poppy is such an important symbol to remember our fallen soldiers. Although some people don’t wear poppies, it doesn’t bother me as I know they still respect and understand the sacrifices my dad and others made.”
Ben and his brother Aidan
On keeping the tradition of Remembrance Day, Ben added: “I think it’s important that we keep marking Remembrance every year because we should never forget about all of the soldiers who have helped us a great deal and everyone who has put their lives on the line for us. It would make me sad to see Remembrance Day go because it helps everyone deal with their own experience and it’s good for people to remember why they have this life and be grateful to the soldiers. It’s almost thanking them in a way.”
As we get closer to Remembrance Day, for many bereaved military families, it’s hard to escape it, particularly in school. For Ben, he finds support from his friends really helps. He said: “We have assemblies in school about Remembrance Day where we talk about World War 1 and World War 2 but also about more recent conflicts. I think it’s important we continue to talk about them as they are really significant events in history and meant lots of people put their lives on the line to help our country become better.
“I don’t mind talking about Remembrance, and my school friends are all really supportive. They don’t really understand what’s it’s like, but they do try and help me if I’m feeling down.”
Although they weren’t able to mark Remembrance as they would normally do last year, Ben and his mum Toni did attend the Remembrance march in London in 2019 alongside other members of Scotty’s Little Soldiers, and Ben was responsible for laying a wreath at the Cenotaph. Looking back, he said: “It felt really good doing the parade a few years ago, it showed me that there are a lot of people in the world just like me, who have been effected by the death of a soldier. It was really nice to be given the responsibility of holding the wreath as it’s a big part of the day. Having events like this is so important as it helps everyone, including me, remember all of the soldiers, and not just my dad, but everyone who has put their lives on the line for us.”
Ben will be joined at the Remembrance march once again by his mum Toni and this year his brother Aidan. Ben will be joining the Cenotaph march alongside other members of national military charity Scotty’s Little Soldiers who will be recognisable in yellow and black scarves.
Ben with other Scotty Members at the 2019 Remembrance Day Parade
Ben was one of the first members to join military charity, Scotty’s Little Soldiers when it was set up in 2010 by army widow, Nikki Scott. The charity was set up in honour of Nikki’s husband and father to her two children, Corporal Lee Scott, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2009. Nikki saw the devastating impact the death of her husband had on their two young children and wanted to help others in the same situation.
Scotty’s is dedicated to supporting bereaved military children and young people, just like Ben, who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the Armed Forces.
The charity will play a big part at this year’s Remembrance Day parade. Scotty’s Little Soldiers took a group of 18 to the Cenotaph march in 2019 and their presence caught the attention of the public with lots of media coverage. This year the charity has arranged for a total of 76 bereaved Armed Forces family members to take part in the march, 45 of which are children and young people the charity supports.
Ben said: “I’m really looking forward to the parade. It’s meaningful to see thousands of people taking part. There are lots of other people who have been through what I’ve been through so they understand what it’s like.”
As well as supporting its members on the Cenotaph march, this Remembrance, Scotty’s will be ensuring their members know support is available to them and offering guidance. The charity will also be sending vouchers to all its members around Remembrance Day so they can take some time out and enjoy a meal together as a family.
Ben added: “Being part of Scotty’s helps me remember because I’m with lots of other people who have been through what I’ve been through, it reminds me that I’m not alone and helps me remember my dad. It’s like having a second family, where everyone knows and understands what each other has been through. I’ve made some great friends at Scotty’s, and you never have to explain what’s happened to your parent, because they already know, it makes everything easier so we can just concentrate on having fun together and supporting one another.”
Ben with Brooke Scott
