Hero of the Month: CSgt Gavin Hillier (1985 – 2021)
Colour Sergeant Gavin Hillier was a generous, hardworking and loving father and husband, as well as an accomplished soldier in the 1st Battalion Welsh Guards.
Over his 18 years of service, Gavin completed tours of Iraq and Kosovo, and multiple tours of Afghanistan.
On the 4th of March 2021, Gavin was shot during a training exercise at Castlemartin. He was 35 years old. His children, Connor and Declan, were just 12 and 15.
CSgt Gavin Hillier
“He was a cheeky chappie who loved his kids very much and worked very hard,” says Gavin’s wife, Karyn. “He was massively into his rugby and a good player, too. He played rugby for the Army for a little while, and when he was home he always used to play for his local team. He eventually had to stop because he tore his cruciate ligament, but that didn’t stop him from enjoying it. He was a massive Wales supporter, of course.”
As well as rugby, Gavin had a passion for motorbikes and loved getting outside as much as possible, whether it was exploring the countryside, going on adventures with his family and their dogs or just enjoying a beer with his friends.
“I have so many favourite memories of him, I can’t pinpoint just one. Whenever he was home, we were always doing something,” says Karyn. “He would never just sit down and rest. We never made plans, we just got up and did things.”
Gavin having fun with his boys, Connor and Declan
Gavin had lots of passions, hobbies and interests, but they all came second to his two boys, Connor and Declan.
“He was a brilliant dad to the kids. Very reliable and very hand-on. Whenever he was home you couldn’t separate them. He loved going out and doing things with them – rugby and football especially. Our eldest, Dec, was in the cadets, which Gavin took a big interest in.”
Gavin with his family during Remembrance
Both Connor and Declan, now aged 14 and 17, have taken after their hero in different ways.
“They both have massive hearts like their dad. Dec is funny in the same way Gavin was funny – lots of banter, constantly winding you up and always has an answer for everything. Connor is a bit more like me, but he loves doing all the same things Gavin loved. He’s always got to be doing something, always on the go. He’s not an indoor playing on the Xbox kid at all. Whatever the weather, he’ll be outside trying to climb something or another.”
In 2021, the two boys even joined their uncle, James, on a journey up Mount Snowdon in memory of their dad, raising funds for Scotty’s Little Soldiers in the process.
Connor and Declan stopping for a photo atop Snowdon
Gavin may no longer be with them, but Karyn and the boys have a lots of ways they like to remember him and honour his life.
“We talk about him every day as if he’s still here. We often visit his grave and take a pack of beers, which we leave for people to help themselves. We also like to do things that he enjoyed, like watching the rugby and going on walks, going to the beach, having holidays in places he loved.”
For Gavin, one of those places was Porthcawl, a town on the south coast of Wales. He and his family used to go there regularly, and Karyn and the boys still go there at least once a year in memory of him.
“At times like Father's Day, we’ll visit Porthcawl and sit by the sea,” says Karyn. “It brings back memories of when we used to go and do the same thing with Gavin.”
Gavin with his children at Barry Island Pleasure Park
Porthcawl isn’t the only place that helps Karyn and boys feel close to their hero. They recently went on a Scotty Break to Butlins, where they had been once before with Gavin.
“It was lovely because we hadn’t been for years, but going back brought back all the memories me and the kids had of their dad when we last went. It was a really nice experience. We went swimming, visited the fair ground, watched some shows and went on walks. It was just good to spend time together as a family creating new happy memories.” Karyn continues: “The Scotty Breaks definitely make you remember, but that’s not a bad thing because we don’t want to forget. You all know why you’re there and it reminds you you’re not alone. It’s always sad because Gavin’s not with us, but we don’t dwell on the sadness. We focus on making happy memories and thinking of him.”
Gavin and Declan diving
For Karyn, Connor and Declan, meeting other families supported by Scotty’s has formed a community they can turn to whenever they need help or guidance.
“You don’t know until you’ve got that support how much you were missing,” says Karyn. “I supported Scotty’s even before Gavin died, but I never thought we’d have to be supported by them. I turned to Scotty’s shortly after it happened and the help they’ve given us has been brilliant. If I'm ever unsure about something, I know I can ask Scotty’s or one of my friends from Scotty’s and they’ll have the answer. Having that community is great and we’re always chatting in WhatsApp and on Facebook. No one in our family or nearby friends have anything to do with the military, so they don’t always completely understand what we’re going through. It's nice to be part of Scotty’s and have that easy connection to other people who are going through the same thing we are.”
Gavin wearing a Remembrance poppy
