Hero of the Month: Staff Sergeant Chris Appleby 1981 - 2013
When Staff Sergeant Chris Appleby found out he and his wife, Kelly, were expecting twins he was instantly besotted. At his Army base in Iraq, Chris received a letter from Kelly telling him the exciting news that they would soon be a family of four.
Chris returned home from Iraq a few months later to be by his wife’s side for the birth of their twin baby girls, Caitlin and Lauren. He was the first to hold them – a very proud dad.
Caitlin and Lauren were just five when their dad was deployed on tour again. On his return, the girls enjoyed another five great years with their dad, their hero, but their world was turned upside down when he died on 22nd December 2013 from skin cancer, aged 32. His daughters were just 10 years old.
Staff Sergeant Chris Appleby
A few years after their dad’s death, Caitlin and Lauren, who are now 18, joined Scotty’s Little Soldiers, the charity for bereaved Forces children and young people. The charity has been a pillar of support for the girls over the years and has helped them feel less alone.
Family meant everything to Chris. Even when he was away on tour, his wife, Kelly, said he would write to them every week just to remind them that he was thinking about them. “His family was his biggest achievement,” said Kelly. “He was completely devoted to his girls and would always want to protect and care for them. The girls always came first, and he would have done anything to make them smile.”
Lauren in particular has followed in her father’s footsteps and has inherited her dad’s love for football. Lauren said: “Football was the passion me and my dad both shared. If we weren’t watching it on TV, we were out in the garden doing drills or having a kick about. My dad got me involved with my very first football team and I’ve continued to play every year since he died as I find it helps me feel closer to him and is my way of honouring him.”
Chris with his twin daughters, Lauren and Caitlin
Crystal Palace also held a special place in Chris’s heart. Kelly remembers one of the last moments they spent together as a family with the girls both wearing their Crystal Palace t-shirts. She said: “One of the last photos we took of Chris was of him and the girls in their Palace tops. They would watch matches together either cheering or screaming in unison.”
With Chris around, Kelly said it was like having three children in the house. She said: “He was the biggest kid in the family. You would always hear Chris before you saw him, and he loved to play the joker or be winding you up. But no matter what, you couldn’t help but laugh with him.”
One moment that sticks in Caitlin’s mind about her dad is from when she was a baby. She said: “Apparently when I was a baby, and I wouldn’t stop crying, my dad got two fried egg Haribo sweets and put them on my eyes. He then took a photo of me to make everyone laugh.”
Chris dressed as a tank
There was also a serious side to Chris. He worked incredibly hard to get promoted through the ranks to Staff Sergeant and loved being part of the military, something both his daughters are very proud of him for.
Lauren said: “I am incredibly proud of my dad serving in the Army, whether he was working where we lived or out on tour. I love looking back at pictures of him in uniform."
Caitlin added: “It makes me feel very proud that my dad would serve Queen and country and protect others even if he was risking his own life.”
The day Chris died turned the lives of Kelly and her daughters upside down. The girls knew their dad was poorly and both dealt with his death in very different ways.
Kelly said: “Lauren threw herself into football, as this was how she felt closest to Chris. Caitlin found it really hard to talk about her feelings and it took a long time for her to be able to express herself.”
The girls have both inherited different traits from their dad. Kelly said: “Lauren is absolutely Chris’s double, she’s the female version of him, and Caitlin has definitely got his drive and loudness.”
Chris with his wife, Kelly, and their two daughters
For the last eight years, the girls have been supported by Scotty’s Little Soldiers, a charity which offers integral support to children and young people who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces.
The charity has been a big part of their lives and means so much to both of them.
Over the years, both Caitlin and Lauren have benefited from the support offered by the charity and have received grants to help pay for their football and gymnastic lessons, but also vouchers on Remembrance Sunday and the anniversary of their dad’s death. Caitlin said: “We both love having the vouchers sent on Remembrance Sunday as we go out together as a family, for something to eat, and talk about our dad and the memories we shared together. When we receive the voucher on dad’s anniversary it makes us smile knowing that, even though it’s a really difficult day, Scotty’s are thinking about us.”
Lauren and Caitlin joining Scotty's Little Soldiers at the London Remembrance Parade
They’ve also had the opportunity to experience once in a lifetime-events, including meeting Prince William. Lauren who met the Duke of Cambridge in 2020 said: “I really appreciated how considerate Prince William was when speaking to us individually, and how interested he was in Scotty’s Little Soldiers, my exams and the intelligence corps. But most importantly I could see how much he understood me with my feelings on what it’s like to experience the death of a parent. I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to have spoken with him and it is something I will never forget.”
The charity has been integral in supporting Lauren and Caitlin through their childhood and even though they have now turned 18, will continue to do so through its Springboard programme, which offers support to young people aged 18 – 25 years old.
Lauren and Kelly Appleby meeting Prince William
Lauren added: “At Scotty’s we’re all one big family, we all understand what each other is going through and what it means to experience the death of your parent, no matter how they died. I love being part of the Scotty’s family and it’s really helped me to know it’s okay to have good days and bad days. That we can get through those times by helping each other.”
Caitlin added: “Scotty’s is a safe place where people understand what we are going through, like my comfort blanket, knowing that we can talk to any of the members, that they will understand and be there to support us always.”
