“My dad died by suicide when I was 5 years old. This is how my life has changed.”
On the 23rd of April 2014, five-year-old Ruth Watson’s life changed forever when her dad, Mus John Watson, died by suicide. He was 43 years old.
Ruth, who is now 14, remembers her dad fondly: “Name any instrument, and dad could probably play it. He became a musician and medic in the Royal Engineers straight out of school, which he loved, but had to be discharged after three years because he broke his back on a training exercise. He later became a conductor at Keele University, which sounds serious, but I always remember him as a bit of a jokester, having fun and doing lots of silly things with us. We’d have food experiments in the garden, where we threw together all kinds of weird stuff. He was always such a chill, relaxed person.”
Ruth and her siblings, Heather and Tobias, who were eight and four when their dad died, joined Scotty’s Little Soldiers in 2022. Since joining the charity, which provides support to bereaved military children and young people, they’ve felt part of a supportive community of young people built around helping every member feel less alone.
Ruth Watson
An update from Ruth
Since my story was first shared last summer, I have completed my last year at secondary school and am waiting for my GCSE results in August, before hopefully moving on to college in September!
The last few months have been quite emotional at times, with events like Heather’s 18th birthday and my year 11 prom, where we really missed my dad. It was the tenth anniversary of his death in April, which we marked with some family time and a visit to the village where he died. Although we try to visit regularly as a family, Heather and I have now both finished our exams, so the two of us travelled to Folkestone together to spend some time with Dad’s family and see some of the places where he grew up.
Unfortunately, my Cheer team has recently folded so I am trying out for new teams ready for next season, as well as training as a Rookie Lifesaving Instructor at the Club where Heather and Tobi swim (which is supported by a grant from Scotty’s).
I know that there will be even more changes in my life over the next few months, but it’s reassuring to know that Scotty’s will continue to support us.
“Scotty’s is like having another friend to rely on.”
“Before joining Scotty’s, I didn’t realise there were so many people in a similar situation to our family. It could feel quite isolating, but now some of my closest friends are Scotty Members who I can chat to about stuff, and Mum has connected to a bunch of parents who are in the same boat. Just having that connection is really comforting and makes me feel a lot more secure.”
Ruth and her family first found out about Scotty’s at FAB Camp, an activity break for bereaved military families – the event is supported by Scotty’s Little Soldiers who provide FAB with specialist bereavement support. John died after service, but the military remained an important part of his identity, and Ruth is enjoying discovering this part of his life. This newfound connection fosters a sense of belonging and can assist bereaved military children in their healing process, as they navigate their own journey of grief.
“Scotty’s is like having another friend to rely on. If you need a certain type of help, or you want to talk to someone outside of the family or who you don’t see every day, they’re always there. For me, I’ve also learnt a lot more about the Armed Forces since joining Scotty’s, which I find super interesting. Learning more about the military side of his life and acknowledging it is really important to us.”
Ruth's dad holding her older sister, Heather
Connecting with people who ‘get it’
Since joining Scotty’s, Ruth has done things she would never have otherwise been able to do, and even made some unexpected connections along the way.
“My drama teacher’s dad was serving in the Armed Forces when he died, so I talk to her quite often as we obviously have some stuff in common. One day I mentioned I was part of Scotty’s and her eyes widened and she started talking about how much she admires the charity and that she’d even fundraised for it. It’s made me feel like she understands me better and I really like telling her about all the stuff we do with Scotty’s.”
One event Ruth couldn’t wait to tell her teacher about was her lunch at 10 Downing Street to commemorate Armed Forces Day. There, she had the chance to meet and connect with more bereaved military children just like her, spend time with influential political figures, and share how big an impact Scotty’s has had on her life since joining in 2022.
“We just connected instantly with other members there and even ended up going out for tea together later in the day. We also got to have a little look around 10 Downing St on our way to the garden, and then we met loads of veterans and service personal and told them all about Scotty’s and everything it’s done for us.”
Ruth with some Scotty members and the charity's founder, Nikki, at 10 Downing Street
“Helping the charity that helps us.”
Heather isn’t the only sporty person in the family. Ruth loves cheerleading and, as a Scotty Member, is now entitled to the Scotty Allowance – a grant available to all members every year to contribute towards to cost of fun, confidence-boosting, extra-curricular activities.
Ruth also took part in Scotty’s May Marathon, in which she walked, jogged and ran 26.2 miles over the course of May to raise funds for Scotty’s. For Ruth, it was a way of giving something back and supporting bereaved military children and young people just like her.
“The May Marathon was really good. It kept me motivated, and if I hadn’t had a good day for whatever reason, it was a case of ‘right, let’s go out, get jogging, enjoy the surroundings and take our mind off it.’ It was a good mood-booster, especially knowing we were helping the charity that helps us. I managed 7K on one run!”
Ruth, Tobias and Heather
Scotty’s ‘comforting’ community
In addition to having access to a number of educational and development grants, as well as the option to access one-to-one bereavement support, Ruth is soon to go on her first Scotty’s Break at one of our lodges. During this time, she and her family will have the priceless opportunity to remember and reflect on their time spent with John while making new happy memories together. It’s these tailored chances to reflect on her father’s life and meet other bereaved military children who get what she’s been through, understand her struggles, and remind her she’s not alone that set her time as a Scotty Member apart from her life before.
“It’s comforting to know there's someone there that we can turn to if we need anything. Scotty’s are always there, they're so easy to communicate with and they’ve been able to support us with everything we’ve needed – not just for me, but for my brother and sister as well.”
Mus John Watson
Supporting bereaved military children
Scotty’s Little Soldiers is a charity dedicated to supporting children and young people, 0 to 25 years, who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces.
Inspired by the experience of Army widow Nikki Scott, following the death of her husband, Corporal Lee Scott, in Afghanistan in 2009, the charity, which was set up in 2010, provides support and guidance to hundreds of bereaved military children and young people throughout their childhood.
When a young person joins Scotty’s, they become a member and are supported until their 25th birthday. Whether it be one-to-one bereavement support, a respite break with the family, an opportunity to meet others in a similar situation, or access to extracurricular activities, Scotty’s is always there for its members to ensure they don’t feel alone.
Scotty’s currently support over 680 bereaved military children and young people and has a long-term goal to support over 1,000 children annually by 2030.
If you know a bereaved military child who could benefit from Scotty’s Little Soldiers support, visit our Get Support page for more information.
