Remembrance reminds us Rosie’s dad was a military hero
Rosie Lamb was just two years old when her dad, Rfn Martin Lamb, was killed following an IED explosion in Afghanistan in 2011. She has grown up with precious few memories of her military hero, but being able to meet hundreds of other Scotty’s Little Soldiers members who have all gone through similar experiences has helped her feel less alone.
Rosie joined Scotty’s Little Soldiers, the charity for bereaved military children, in 2013 and she is now 13 years old. Last year marked the tenth anniversary of her dad’s death.
“Scotty’s means so much to me. Because of them, I know I’m not the only one who misses their parent.”
Rosie Lamb
Honouring her dad
This year, Rosie and her mum, Melissa, went to London to spend Remembrance weekend with Scotty's Little Soldiers. Rosie was one of 55 bereaved military children and young supported by Scotty's who attended BBC One's Festival of Remembrance and took part in the National Service of Remembrance with us, where they marched past the Cenotaph in honour of their parent. For Rosie and Melissa, taking part in the London Remembrance Parade has always felt daunting, but this year they finally felt the time was right.
“Remembrance reminds us that Rosie’s dad was a hero and that he died a hero,” says her mum. “This year was the first time she came up to me and asked if we could go. I think because we’re both in a better place now and she knew she’d be with Scotty’s, all wrapped up in her black and yellow Scotty’s scarf, she felt safe. They’ve been looking after her for most of her childhood.”
Rosie and her mum, Melissa
“We feel sad, but Remembrance fills us with pride.”
Remembrance can bring back some painful memories for Rosie and Melissa. Martin had a military funeral, and many of the same traditions from the ceremony occur during Remembrance.
“The unforms and the trumpets all remind me of his funeral – especially the Last Post,” says Melissa. “My stomach just goes.”
Rosie says: “Remembrance makes me sad as sometimes I can’t remember my dad, even though I feel like I should.”
However, despite the pain it brings, Remembrance also makes Rosie and her mum feel extremely proud.
“Right now, the overwhelming emotion I feel is pride,” says Melissa. “Although we feel hugely sad, it also fills us with a massive, massive amount of pride.”
Rosie adds: “I’m really proud of my dad and everything he did. We’re going to polish his medals and I’m going to wear them during the parade.”
Rosie and Melissa at Martin's funeral
Remembering and reflecting
For Rosie, Remembrance is a time of mixed emotions, but it’s always a chance to reflect on her dad’s life. Every year, she and her mum like to remember their hero in lots of different ways.
“We go for a big walk and then dad’s family come over and we go visit dad’s memorial,” says Rosie. “They do a little Remembrance ceremony near us, so sometimes we go to that afterwards, too.”
“It’s a sad time,” adds her mum, “but we try to think positively and keep the focus on how proud we are of Martin. After the Remembrance ceremony we all like to get a big meal at the pub and have a bit of fun. This year we’ll be with Scotty’s obviously, but we’re still planning to explore London, do some shopping and enjoy what we can.”
Rfn Martin Lamb
“It made us feel less alone.”
Rosie has also benefitted from Scotty’s services including one-to-one bereavement support, grants, respite breaks and attending our annual Christmas party, where she’s been able to meet other bereaved military children and young people who understand what she’s been through.
“Rosie loves the Christmas parties and they’re a really good way for her to remember her dad while having fun,” says Melissa. “It’s a safe space for her and we always talk about Martin a lot on the weekend of the party. My favourite Scotty memory was going to our first ever Christmas party and seeing how many families there were, just like us. It definitely made Rosie and I feel less alone.”
Rosie also talks about her dad whenever they go on a Scotty Break, and there’s one place Rosie likes to go more than any other:
“My favourite Scotty Break is definitely Center Parcs,” she says. “I ask if we can go every year. I love going on the water rapids.”
Rosie at Scotty's 2019 Christmas Party
Scotty’s Remembrance support
In addition to attending the National Service of Remembrance and BBC One’s Festival of Remembrance this year, Rosie and all Scotty’s members have been sent Remembrance packs which include suggestions on how to remember their loved one, guidance on looking after themselves, a special Remembrance colouring-in sheet, and a voucher to spend on a meal so they can take some time out. The pack also includes information that can be given to their schools to help with challenges that may be faced during the Remembrance period.
Martin holding baby Rosie
“There’s always someone I can ask.”
“Scotty’s is great,” Rosie says. “I really like being with people who know what I’ve been through but don’t expect me to talk about it if I don’t want to.”
“Because of Scotty’s, we’re able to keep our military connection,” says Melissa. “Keeping that connection is so important to me and Rosie as it’s one of the ways we hold on to Martin. Scotty’s has also helped us become part of a support network. Rosie has her friends from Scotty’s she messages, and I’ve become good friends with some of the Scotty mums. A couple of their partners were actually in the same regiment as my husband and they died within a couple of weeks of each other. For Rosie and me, being able to get advice or just talk about our experiences with people who can relate is so helpful. It takes a bit of pressure off me, too, as I don’t feel like I need to have the answer to everything since there’s always someone I can ask. I think joining Scotty’s is essential for any bereaved military family.”
Rosie
Supporting bereaved military children
Scotty’s Little Soldiers is a charity dedicated to supporting children and young people (0 to 25 years) who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces.
Inspired by the experience of Army widow Nikki Scott, following the death of her husband Corporal Lee Scott in Afghanistan in 2009, the charity, which was set up in 2010, provides support and guidance to hundreds of bereaved military children and young people throughout their childhood.
Services offered to Scotty’s members include access to child bereavement support, guidance to parents and carers, personal education and learning assistance (including grants), and fun activities such as holiday respite breaks and group events. These are all designed to remind the children and young people supported by Scotty’s that they are not alone.
If you know a child or young person who has experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces, they could be eligible for specialist bereavement support from Scotty's Little Soldiers. Hundreds of bereaved military children aren’t getting the support they need but we are here to help.
Rosie finding Scotty's gift vouchers under the Christmas tree
