"Because of Scotty’s, I haven’t just made friends, I’ve made forever friends.”
18-year-old Phoebe Thompson was just 10 years old when her dad, Able Seaman 1st Class (AB1) James Thompson, died after being diagnosed with a melanoma. Here, Phoebe talks about growing up without her dad and how Scotty’s Little Soldiers has not only supported her, but inspired her career.
Phoebe at Scotty's 2021 Christmas party
Growing up without her dad
At just 10 years old, Phoebe Thompson experienced the unthinkable. Her dad, her hero, died suddenly after being diagnosed with a melanoma just three weeks before.
The death of her dad at such a young age meant Phoebe, who lived with her mum Amy and older brother Hugo, had to grow up very quickly.
AB1 James Thompson died on 18th November 2014, he was 39 years old and had spent 20 years serving with the Royal Navy. His sudden death came as a shock to the whole family.
As a result, Phoebe and her brother, Hugo, have grown up without their dad by their side.
AB1 James Thompson with his children, Phoebe and Hugo
Scotty's support
Phoebe and Hugo were introduced to Scotty’s Little Soldiers in 2015 following a family break in Whitby. The charity has been a great comfort to both as they’ve grown up and has enabled them to form valuable relationships with other children in similar situations.
“Scotty’s has helped me in so many ways,” said Phoebe. “There were times after my dad died, and as I’ve grown up, that I felt so low, but Scotty’s were always there and helped pick me back up again. Going back to school after dad died was particularly difficult, as a lot of my friends didn’t understand what I was going through, which was really hard. It got a lot easier when I joined Scotty’s as I felt supported. I was able to talk to other children who were just like me and were going through exactly what I was going through.”
James on duty
Scotty Breaks
One of the first, and for Phoebe, most vital elements of support provided by Scotty’s following her dad’s death, was a respite break away as a family. Phoebe and her family went on holiday to a Scotty’s lodge on the first anniversary of her dad’s death, which gave them all valuable time together to remember him. Phoebe said: “I remember staying at the Scotty’s Lodge, it was great and just what we needed. It was a lovely way of keeping dad’s memory alive. It was the first anniversary of his death and such a hard time, but we were able to enjoy time together and remember dad, which was what it was all about. I can’t thank Scotty’s enough for that experience.”
Phoebe and Hugo enjoying the sun at Scotty's Blackpool lodge
Scotty's Christmas Party
Phoebe’s first experience of a Scotty’s Christmas Party was not long after the first anniversary of her dad's death and was initially something she was unsure about attending. Phoebe said: “I was so nervous about going at first, but we met so many other children who were just like me. Being able to talk about my dad with other children who knew what I was going through was such a big help. Just from the party alone, I’ve made so many new friends and we all keep in touch. Because of Scotty’s, I haven’t just made friends, I’ve made forever friends.”
AB1 James Thompson
Scotty Grants
As a young girl, Phoebe loved to dance and regularly took ballet lessons. After her dad died, Phoebe turned to ballet as an escape. In order to help pay for these lessons, her family used the Scotty Allowance, an annual grant that can be used to cover or contribute toward the cost of extracurricular activities.
Phoebe said: “Receiving the grant from Scotty’s meant so much. It meant that mum didn’t need to struggle to find the money to pay for my lessons, and it meant I could carry on doing what I loved.”
A young Phoebe and Hugo with their dad
Looking forward to the future
For Phoebe, everything she has experienced as a child and the support she’s received from bereaved Armed Forces children’s charity, Scotty’s Little Soldiers, has inspired her to pursue a career in child psychology.
Now 18-years-old, Phoebe is looking forward to the next stage in her life and hopes to study a Psychology degree at Newcastle or Manchester University. With the aid of Scotty’s SPRINGBOARD Programme, which supports members aged 18 to 25, she will continue to receive support through to the end of her education and beginning of her career, assisting with opportunities to develop her education and life skills.
Phoebe with her family at Scotty's Blackpool lodge.
“Scotty’s has inspired me to do what I want to do,” said Phoebe. “Having gone through all that I went through as a child, I know I want to follow a pathway that means I can help other children, which is why I want to look at a career in child psychology. Having Scotty’s support over the years has hugely influenced my decision on what to study as I’ve seen personally over the years how important it is.”
As part of the SPRINGBOARD Programme, Phoebe will also receive support with her university tuition fees and reassurance that the charity is still there when she needs them. She said: “The SPRINGBOARD Programme is massively useful, the allowance for university is really helpful and it’s also comforting to know that the support is still there. Although I’m older, there are still times when I feel emotional about what happened to dad, that won’t ever go away. Knowing that there is always someone there to talk to when I need them is greatly reassuring.”
Phoebe and Hugo on a Scotty Break
Supporting bereaved military children
Scotty’s Little Soldiers is a charity dedicated to supporting children and young people (0 to 25 years) who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces.
Inspired by the experience of Army widow Nikki Scott, following the death of her husband Corporal Lee Scott in Afghanistan in 2009, the charity, which was set up in 2010, provides support and guidance to hundreds of bereaved military children and young people throughout their childhood.
Services offered to Scotty’s members include access to child bereavement support, guidance to parents and carers, personal education and learning assistance (including grants), and fun activities such as holiday respite breaks and group events. These are all designed to remind the children and young people supported by Scotty’s that they are not alone.
If you know a child or young person who has experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces, they could be eligible for specialist bereavement support from Scotty's Little Soldiers. Hundreds of bereaved military children aren’t getting the support they need but we are here to help.
If you are the parent or carer of a bereaved military child or young person, click here.
If you work with bereaved children & young people, click here.
If you are a bereaved young person seeking support, click here.
