Mum’s anguish as her husband is killed in action just days before Christmas.
"He was so young, I didn’t know what to tell him, he was so excited about Christmas and I didn’t want to upset him.”
For Royal Marines widow, Emylie Jennings, and her two young boys, Christopher and Oliver, Christmas is an emotional time of year. The family lost their hero, father and husband, Captain Tomasz (Tom) Jennings just three days before Christmas Day.
Captain Jennings was killed on 22nd December 2011, while on tour in Afghanistan. He was killed after the vehicle he was traveling in went over a mine. Emylie, who was at home looking after their two children, who were just three years and 19 months old at the time, waited until Boxing Day to tell them that their daddy wouldn’t be coming home.
Here, Emylie opens up about her husband’s death, how it’s impacted her children, and how charity Scotty’s Little Soldiers gives her children something to smile about at Christmas.
I met Tom at University, I was 18 and he was 21. One of my housemates introduced us. It was towards the end of my first year of University and things just went from there. We got engaged in 2007 and got married in 2009.
We had our first son, Christopher, in 2008 and Oliver two years later in 2010. They were both so young when he died so they have very little memories of him. Tom loved them both so much, he loved being a dad and I know would hate missing them grow up.
He was such a confident and motivated man, he was just incredible, so clever, hardworking, and ambitious. He was just 29 when he died but had achieved more than many people do in their whole lives. He was constantly pushing himself, he wanted his parents to see him graduate and pass officer training, to see him married and become a parent. He achieved all these things and so much more.
Tom was serving in the Royal Marines Special Boat Service when he was killed, he was on tour in Afghanistan when the vehicle he was travelling in went over a mine. Tom was unconscious when he was pulled from the vehicle and, although he was taken to hospital, he never regained consciousness. Another of Tom’s comrades was also killed in the same blast and two in the vehicle survived.
I can still remember the day they came to tell me what had happened. We had Tom’s mum staying with us for Christmas, Christopher was playing upstairs, and I had Oliver in my arms. I saw two men arrive at my door and knew then that it wasn’t good news. They said, ‘we have some news’ and asked if I wanted to put Oliver down. I gave him to Tom’s mum, but when they realised who she was one of the officers also went to talk to her while I was left with the other.
As they were giving me the news, Christopher came bursting in dressed in a fancy-dress outfit and in seeing my face he knew instantly that something was wrong. He was so young, I didn’t know what to tell him, he was so excited about Christmas and I didn’t want to upset him. I told him I had received some sad news but didn’t explain what had happened until Boxing Day.
After Christmas I sat the boys down and had to explain to them that there was a bad accident and daddy couldn’t come home anymore. Christopher didn’t really understand and sat there shaking his head. Oliver was only 19 months old and didn’t understand at all.
As the boys have grown up, they have started to ask questions, it’s so hard them not being able to remember their dad, I help in any way that I can. We talk about him all the time and on his birthday every year we have a BBQ with friends and family, and everyone tells stories, which I think helps them both build a picture of their dad in their minds. We also stay in touch with his military colleagues and always attend the Remembrance Service at his old base in Poole.
A few years after Tom died, I got in touch with Scotty’s Little Soldiers and they have been fantastic, they have given both me and the boys the opportunity to meet other children in similar circumstances, and a sense of belonging and unity that we lost when Tom died.
We are all so incredibly grateful for Scotty’s, Christmas is always a time of mixed emotions as we mark the anniversary of Tom’s death and then a few days later it’s Christmas Day. But what Scotty’s has done is given the boys something to smile about at Christmas. They get so excited when they see the Scotty’s logo and it helps reassure them that it’s ok to laugh and be happy and that there are people out there who remember them and remember their dad.
Just knowing Scotty’s is there and that they remember us, makes such a huge difference to how we feel. With Scotty’s, it's ok to laugh and smile. You don't feel like people are judging or watching you. I appreciate the connection with other military families who can relate, advise and support each other as we all move on in life. Knowing Scotty’s think about and help us prepare for key transitions and stressful events is a big weight off.
