Bereaved military teenager’s Caribbean adventure in memory of his Mum and Dad
By the time he was 15 years old, Scotty Member Callum had experienced the devastating death of both his parents. In 2010, his dad, Sgt Steven Darbyshire of the Royal Marines, was killed in action while serving in Afghanistan. 12 years later, in 2022, his mum, Kate Darbyshire, tragically died from cancer.
Callum, now 17, has endured huge hardship for someone so young, but with the help of his brother Ryan and his Grandma and Grandad, along with the support and opportunities offered by Scotty’s Little Soldiers, the charity for bereaved military children, he has been able to do some truly incredible things.
With the help of Scotty’s Allowance, a yearly grant offered to all our members for extracurricular activities, Callum recently got to spend an unforgettable 17 days in Jamaica, where he taught rugby to disadvantaged children, took part in a rugby sevens tournament and even competed against the Jamaican under 19’s national team.
Callum packed and ready for Jamaica
A once-in-a-lifetime adventure
“It was great,” says Callum. “We flew into Montego Bay and spent four nights there, where we had some time to relax and play some friendly matches. Then we got a coach to Kingston, which is where we properly started to teach rugby at three different colleges. We took part in a tournament at the same time with a bunch of different teams, but lost in the final match. But we pulled it back at the end by defeating Jamaica’s under nineteens team!”
When they weren’t teaching or training, Callum and his teammates also had the chance to explore some incredible parts of Jamaica, making unforgettable memories.
“We’d wake up about eight in the morning and do some weight training together in the 30-degree heat, then when we had the chance we would either go down to the pool, visit the local restaurants and stuff, or do some exploring. One of my favourite places we visited was a massive waterfall. I really enjoyed that.”
Callum playing Jamaica's Under 19s
Teaching rugby across the world
Before the trip, Callum had no experience working with young people, but the chance to share his rugby knowledge with so many students helped him discover an enjoyment for teaching he didn’t know he had.
“We taught children from a big mixture of ages and backgrounds. Some of the schools we taught at were in very poor areas where the kids didn’t even have shoes, while others were in much more privileged areas. It was definitely an eye-opener. The students ranged all the way from nine to nineteen, so we got to teach a lot of different skill levels, but in every case the standard of rugby was much higher than I expected. I enjoyed teaching more than playing, to be honest, and there were definitely a few kids who I thought could go somewhere with rugby if they continued to put the work in.”
Callum playing Jamaica's Under 19s
Following his Mum's wishes…
Ever since he was a child, Callum has been very active. Like many young boys, he was a keen footballer, but in secondary school he made the switch to rugby, drawn in by the physicality of the sport and the fact most of his friends were on the school team.
“I’ve always enjoyed very physical things, so I think rugby just suited me more. It's rougher than football and tests your body more, in my opinion. It also meant I got to spend more time with my mates.”
A young Callum (right) and his older brother, Ryan (left)
In his free time, Callum also enjoys travelling the world with his older brother, Ryan. Their Mum had taken the pair on lots of trips growing up, strongly believing it would be good for them to become independent, practical, well-travelled young men. It’s a lesson they took to heart, and a way to remember their Mum while doing something they love.
“My favourite place I’ve ever been is probably the Caribbean,” says Callum, “especially St. Lucia. It was a really friendly place, and there’s lots of nice beaches and natural places to explore.”
Callum (right) and Ryan (left)
…and his Dads’ footsteps
Once he leaves education, Callum hopes to follow his Dads’ example and join the Royal Marines. In the meantime, he has been exploring multiple trades at college, from joinery to plumbing, in order to give himself a practical foundation on which to build a military career.
“I’m definitely more practical than academic,” he says. “I like physical things and working with my hands. It’s one of reasons I want to join the Marines. Plus, I just think the environment and the focus on fitness and traveling a lot would suit me well.”
Callum's dad, Sgt Steven Darbyshire
While on Scotty’s breaks with his family, Callum has even had the opportunity to visit Royal Marine bases at Lympstone and Taunton – where his Dad trained and was based.
“I enjoyed it. It was really interesting. We’ve also been to Center Parcs a few times, stayed in one of the lodges, and even went to Alton Towers once. One of the best things we did was attend the London Remembrance parade with Scotty’s a few years back. It felt pretty special.”
Callum and Ryan swimming with their dad
The impact of Scotty’s Little Soldiers
Callum has been a member of Scotty’s since 2015, and over this time he’s had the chance to explore many of the opportunities Scotty’s offer, from meeting other bereaved military children and young people to going on respite breaks, receiving gifts and vouchers on key dates, and attending special events for members of the military community. His advice to children and young people just joining the charity? Take as many of these opportunities as you can.
“If you can do something, do it. Hopefully you’ll want to anyway, but even if you’re not sure if it’s your thing, just give it a go and see. There have been times in the past I’ve not been one hundred percent sure if I wanted to do something, but it’s always ended up being worthwhile. It all makes you more confident, gets you out your comfort zone and helps you meet new people in the same boat.”
He continues:
“Any time someone mentions doing something for a charity, I point them towards Scotty’s. It’s helped me out a lot of over the years and given me lots of great opportunities.”
Callum playing Jamaica's Under 19s
About Scotty’s
Scotty’s Little Soldiers is a military charity dedicated to supporting children and young people (0 to 25 years) who have experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces.
Inspired by the experience of Army widow Nikki Scott, following the death of her husband Corporal Lee Scott in Afghanistan in 2009, the charity, which was set up in 2010, provides support and guidance to hundreds of bereaved military children and young people throughout their childhood.
Scotty’s currently supports over 670 bereaved children and young people. Services offered include access to child bereavement support, guidance to parents and carers, personal education and learning assistance (including grants), and fun activities such as holiday respite breaks and group events. These are all designed to remind the children and young people supported by Scotty’s that they are not alone.
If you know a child or young person who has experienced the death of a parent who served in the British Armed Forces, they could be eligible for specialist bereavement support from Scotty's Little Soldiers. Hundreds of bereaved military children aren’t getting the support they need but we are here to help.
If you know a bereaved military child who could benefit from Scotty’s Little Soldiers support, visit our Get Support page for more information.
Scotty Member Callum when he was a child
